But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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