she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
