ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
only if we run a train.
done.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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