I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
