The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You may now shotgun with the bride
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
