He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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