No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize