she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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