glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
