I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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