i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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