Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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