this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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