I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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