Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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