if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
how drunk are you?
Several
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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