She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
