Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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