you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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