yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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