she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize