peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
