Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
