do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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