Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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