he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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