you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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