yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
