jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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