Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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