She's JV to your varsity
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
