I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
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On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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