So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
