In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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