Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
