Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
