Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
