genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
