Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
