dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
