Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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