is your mom at the bar?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
