He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
