I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
