Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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