As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
