If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im holly from the hills drunk
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
