Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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