she woke up with a sticky ear
The best revenge is premature balding
Farmville is her only friend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
