I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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