it's like iHOP with fire
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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