If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
