idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Michael Bay diarrhea
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish you could order shots online.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
