so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
