$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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