And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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