I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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