Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
