he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
