Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize