he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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