He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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